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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29457441">"Did you ever love me?" "I did."</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blobfish_Sama/pseuds/Blobfish_Sama'>Blobfish_Sama</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>We love Kageyama here [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fights, First Kiss, How Do I Tag, Like very minor, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Rejection, Running Away, This hurt, Unrequited Love, kinda???, loveless relationship, no beta we die like daichi, oohh that should be a tag, tanaka nice kill, ugh so much angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:40:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29457441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blobfish_Sama/pseuds/Blobfish_Sama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo still loved Kageyama.<br/>Kageyama loved Kuroo, but only in the past.<br/>Maybe they could've been together, but they were both stupid and scared.<br/>But what could they do now?</p><p>(Could be an alternate reality/ending for my other work "Drawn Towards You.")</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kageyama Tobio/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>We love Kageyama here [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985846</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>"Did you ever love me?" "I did."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash04animeaddict/gifts">Ash04animeaddict</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my gift for my awesome supporter @Ash04animeaddict (who initially came up with this awesome idea, i just expanded it)<br/>I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>Now, get ready for some angst</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Kageyama-kun. Long time no see, huh?”</p><p>“Ah, Kuroo-san. Nice to see you too,” Kageyama had responded. Kuroo only smiled a nostalgic smile, and leaned against the wall. Silence filled the hallway until Kageyama interrupted it.</p><p>“What are you doing here, Kuroo-san?”</p><p>“Hmm, me? Well, just here doing my job as a sports promoter. Y’know the usual.”</p><p>“Right.” Again, silence filled the hallway, both men obviously avoiding the cause of why they never met again after high school.</p><p>A voice interrupted the silence again, but this time it was Kuroo, “Tell me Kageyama-kun, do you love him now?”</p><p>A pregnant pause, then, “Yes. Yes I do, Kuroo-san.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Back when they were in high school, more specifically during the training camp days, they would always meet in the rose garden, at night, in the back of Shinzen High. There, they spent most of their nights talking, sitting, sharing small touches. They could do anything there, but they stayed with the little things. Those memories in the garden were precious to them both. Those memories were the start of their love for each other. </p><p>Kageyama had gotten Kuroo’s contact near the end of the training camp, and Kageyama could’ve never been happier then. He had enjoyed his time with Kuroo, because he felt no need to hide with the captain. Though they never did anything drastic; the little serene smile Kuroo held, the small touches they gave each other, and the silence they shared had made Kageyama giddy. And the messages they shared afterwards made him even happier. Though they were rivaling teams, Kageyama couldn't help but be happy whenever he came home to the messages from Kuroo asking him if he had a good day or not. He couldn’t help but feel a warmth spread through his heart. </p><p>They met many more times after, whether it be from matches or hangouts they planned together (he guessed they would’ve been called dates, now that he remembers them). And with those times, he always learned something new about Kuroo. He learned about how passionate he was with chemistry. He learned about his dreams. He learned of his past. He learned of his habits. And with every little or big thing he learnt, he stored it into his heart. Every moment with him meant everything to Kageyama. The flirty winks, the devious smiles, the knife-cutting words. Everything, he kept all of it. He didn’t know why he did it, but at the same time, he didn’t want to just discard everything he learned, everything Kuroo willingly gave him. It was as precious to Kageyama as volleyball was to him too, and he couldn’t understand why.</p><p>It was later into his first year that he finally understood. He was on a call with Kuroo, when everything clicked. Kuroo was telling him of this new student that transferred into his class, and how they were attractive. Kageyama had remembered feeling hurt that Kuroo was talking about someone else during the times they spent together, he didn’t know why, but wanted to know. And so like any other highschooler, searched it up on Google (of course after his call with Kuroo had ended). On Google, it had said he was in love. Kageyama remembers being flabbergasted when he first read that, because that couldn’t be true. Kuroo was just a friend. Why would he love Kuroo? Why would he love someone as smart as Kuroo? Why would he love someone who was so cunningly sly, yet be so nerdy at the same time? Why would he love someone who cared about his team and friends so much? Why would he love someone so passionate? Why would he even love someone he was so sure wouldn’t love someone like him back anyway?</p><p>Kageyama had been so confused and overwhelmed by the odd emotion, that he ended up crying into his bed that night. Kageyama had been struck with the truth on that night. He did love Kuroo. He loved someone so far out of his reach. He loved him so much too. He loved him so much that his heart had started to hurt. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kuroo cherished those memories in the rose garden, because there, he saw so many new sides of Kageyama that he showed only to Kuroo. He saw so many sides he couldn’t help but just adore. But the time they spent together was short, with the training camp ending in a few more days. Kuroo assumes that’s when the meetings should’ve stopped. But instead, Kageyama came up to his face on the last day and had asked him for his number. Kuroo happily gave it, because he too wanted to be in contact with Kageayama, even though a small part of him told him not to, told him that it wasn’t worth it because it will only hurt him in the end. But Kuroo ignored it obviously, and their meetings continued.</p><p>Kuroo knew why he continued to meet with Kageyama, why he continued to get Kageyama's attention (in the only way possible, which happened to be flirting), but he didn’t want to admit it. He always tried not to wear his heart on his sleeve, but everytime he was with the setter, his heart would always display open for Kageyama to just take if he so wanted to. The small, logical voice deep in his mind told him not to, but Kuroo ignored its warning that time too. Kuroo had continued to give, and give, and give. And Kageyama had continued to take, and take, and take with no problem. At some point, Kuroo saw that Kageyama had begun to cherish what he gave, and Kuroo was elated, but he still didn’t want to admit why. If he did acknowledge why, then that meant it was over for Kuroo. </p><p>Kuroo didn't want to admit it, but the kiss they shared under the sakura tree made him. The small peck, that was initiated by Kageyama, shattered every last wall that he had left and forced him to see that he was in love. He was in love with Kageyama. The revelation scared him, so Kuroo ran away. He fled after Kageyama moved away from the kiss with a blush adorning his face. He probably shouldn’t have, but he did. Kuroo ran away, like a coward. He ran away because he was scared. He didn’t want to love Kageyama, because he knew that when he did fall, he always fell hard. He always fell so hard that every relationship he had left him hurt. So he was scared, he was scared to love again. The meetings should’ve ended during the training camp days, but stupid Kuroo didn’t want that. Stupid Kuroo had risen his hopes up above the heavens…but this time it seemed like it could be answered. </p><p>They had called each other after that day. Kageyama didn’t want to talk to him, and Kuroo understood why. But he was persistent, and kept calling until Kageyama answered. When he did, Kuroo saw the obvious tear tracks down his cheeks and the red, puffy eyes that held so much sadness and hurt. Kuroo had wanted to confess then and there, but he also didn’t want to do it over the phone. So all Kuroo said was that he was sorry and promised that they’ll talk about this when they met again, which would be soon. If Kuroo was going to confess his love for Kageyama, who <em> seemed </em> like he returned it, then he at least wanted it to be romantic. So he prepared and waited. This time would be successful. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Three days after his call with Kageyama, Kenma tells him Hinata and Kageyama had started dating. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Truthfully, Kageyama didn’t love Hinata, but after Kuroo ran away from him after the kiss and with the call following after, when Hinata had confessed to him on the roof of the school three days later, he was in so much pain that he accepted. </p><p>It wasn’t that he wasn’t attracted to Hinata, but his heart had already given itself to Kuroo, even though he didn’t want it to. Loving Kuroo was painful. Kuroo had led him on, and when Kageyama decided to act upon his feelings, Kuroo ran away. He had cried so hard that night, especially after Kuroo’s call. It made no sense why Kuroo ran away, why Kuroo called afterwards only to not explain himself clearly, why he loved Kuroo so much. It just made no sense why. So when Hinata had confessed, Kageyama quickly accepted. He didn’t want to hurt anymore, and Hinata had seemed to be really in love with him, so maybe, just maybe, Hinata could fill in that empty part of his heart (even though he knew Hinata would never be able to fill it <em> all </em> ), and maybe, just maybe, he could learn to love Hinata back. He knew it wouldn’t be hard, after all, a small part of him in all the hurt, <em> was </em> attracted to the ginger. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The moment Kuroo had gotten the news, he took a train straight to Miyagi, to where Kageyama was. After getting off the train, he rushed straight to Kageyama’s house, and promptly knocked until Kageyama answered. Kuroo knew no one was ever home besides Kageyama, after all, he had been to his house more often then he could count. Kageyama opened the door, Kuroo rushed in, then promptly began to shout at Kageyama. That night he let his emotions run loose. </p><p>“Are you dating Chibi-chan?” That was the first thing he had said, he remembers his voice being full of anger.</p><p>“Yes? But that doesn’t matter. Why are you here Kuroo-san?” Kageyama had responded at that time, voice laced with confusion at both the intrusion and the anger in Kuroo’s tone. </p><p>“Because you weren’t supposed to!”</p><p>After Kuroo had said his part, anger had flooded Kageyama’s body and he argued back, “And why is that?! Why can’t I date him?”</p><p>“Because you were supposed to date me! I was supposed to be your boyfriend!”</p><p>“And what gives you the right to just come into my home and say that! Especially after running away after I kissed you! DID YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT ME!” Kageyama yelled back, just as angry.</p><p>“I KNOW! I KNOW THAT IT HURT YOU BUT I RAN AWAY BECAUSE I WAS SCARED OKAY?!” Their voices were raising now. </p><p>“SCARED OF WHAT? WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE SCARED OF THAT YOU RAN AWAY AFTER LEADING ME ON?!”</p><p>“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.”</p><p>“W-what?” Kageyama’s voice had stuttered out, his voice quiet. They were both panting from the yelling, but Kuroo still spoke out.</p><p>“I love you, Kageyama. I didn’t want to love you, but I did. After you kissed me, I got scared because I realized that I loved you after I tried so hard to deny it. I was going to tell you soon, when we met up again but- but you got together with Chi- Hinata. Even though you were supposed to be mine.” </p><p>After hearing that, Kageyama couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “You were scared? <em> You </em> were <em>scared</em>?! You led me on Kuroo-san! All those meetings, all those touches and words. You’re saying that you did all of that only to run away, <em> scared, </em> after I kissed you?! That was my first kiss, Kuroo-san! And- and you rejected it! In the worst way possible. Then you give me a shitty call afterwards saying you’ll explain soon, and now you barge into my home saying that I should’ve been yours?!”</p><p>“You don’t understand Kageyama-”</p><p>“THAT’S RIGHT!” Kageyama had cut the captain off, tears coming to his eyes, “I don’t Kuroo-san! I don’t understand because you won’t explain yourself clearly! I don’t understand because you’re giving me a shitty excuse! I’m dating Hinata now, and that’s that!”</p><p>“But you don’t love him!” Kuroo yelled back, frustrated, hurt, jealous, any negative emotion could’ve described himself at that moment. Kageyama had been taken aback, because Kuroo was right.</p><p>“T-That’s right. I don’t love him.” Kageyama admitted, and Kuroo remembers hope filling his heart, until Kageayama continued, “But I can learn. I can learn to love him, and I’m sure I will come to love him because he clearly loves me. Now get out. You got your answer, now get out of my damn house.” </p><p>Kageyama finished, strided towards the door, and opened it, telling Kuroo to get out. ‘And never come back.’ That wasn’t said, but Kuroo knew that’s what Kageyama was trying to get across. In the end, with clenched teeth, hurt eyes, and a broken heart, Kuroo left. Kageyama cried even harder that night. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next week, news came out that Kuroo was now dating Kenma. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kuroo loved Kenma, but it wasn’t the love that he had towards Kageyama, it was more brotherly. But Kenma had seen him break down, Kenma had hugged him and told him that he loved Kuroo longer, Kenma had offered himself to Kuroo. And Kuroo took, half out of pain, half out of jealousy. He wanted Kageyama to be jealous. Just as jealous as he was when he found out Hinata and Kageyama had started dating. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kageyama had been jealous, and had been even more hurt too, but he didn’t stop Kuroo. He didn’t go to Tokyo, barge into his house and demand him to break up with Kenma because he loved Kuroo too. Instead, he stayed by Hinata’s side and continued to proceed with their date. He continued to proceed with their relationship. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>High school soon ended for Kuroo, and he was off to college, still dating Kenma, while high school continued for Kageyama, still dating Hinata. They never saw each other again, and never looked back at the former feelings they held for each other. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That was, until now. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Tell me Kageyama-kun, do you love him now?”</p><p>A pregnant pause, then, “Yes. Yes I do, Kuroo-san.”</p><p>“Ha,” Kuroo broke out into a bitter laugh, “I see. You love Chibi-chan now huh?”</p><p>“...Yes. I love him now.” Kageyama muttered out, refusing to look at Kuroo. Kageyama sucked in all his confidence, then opened his mouth to ask the question he already knew the answer to, “And Kenma-san? How are you two doing?”</p><p>“Hmm, I’m sure you already know that we broke up.” Kageyama reluctantly nodded.</p><p>“Do you know why?” Kageyama shook his head, indicating that he didn’t. Kuroo smiled. </p><p>“Kenma found out I still loved you.” Kageyama sucked in his breath, the ache in his heart coming back. </p><p>“I had gone out drinking that night with some colleagues, and came back home to Kenma drunk off my ass. Y’know what I did next?” Again, Kageyama shook his head. Kuroo casted his eyes to the roof.</p><p>“I mistook him as you. I thought he was you, and proceeded to confess my everlasting love for you all over again. Throughout the years I thought I would also learn to love Kenma romantically. Obviously that didn’t happen. Kenma broke it off with me that night. Ha, seems like I still love you after all this time.” Kuroo finished and Kageyama wanted to scream at him, but he didn’t. </p><p>“Ah, I see.” More silence. </p><p>“And you?” Kuroo broke the silence.</p><p>“What about me?”</p><p>“I never asked, but did you ever love me?”</p><p>A minute silence, then Kageyama spoke, “I did.”</p><p>“Did?” </p><p>“Did. I love Hinata now.” Kageyama confirmed. </p><p>“Is that right?”</p><p>“It is right, Kuroo-san. Please don’t doubt my love for him.” Kageyama snapped back, agitated, the hurt in his heart coming back with a lost warmth. </p><p>“I see. Then, I guess that ends our conversation there. I’ll see you later Kageyama.” Kuroo stood up from leaning against the wall, and started walking towards Kageyama. Hazel met dark blue, and the contact never broke as Kuroo continued Kageyama’s way. The setter sucked in his breath, then prepared himself for anything; a word with his charming voice, a cunningly beautiful smirk, a gentle meaningful touch, anything. But nothing happened, Kuroo only continued walking until he was in front of Kageyama. They stared at each other a little more, tension building up. That little moment brought back something they both didn’t want. That little moment brought back the rose garden, the hangouts, the kiss, the fight, everything. It brought back their still beating hearts. They didn’t want to move, but they couldn’t bear it at the same time. So, what could they do now? </p><p>A few more minutes, then Kuroo continued. He broke the contact and instead looked forward. He broke the contact, and continued walking. With each step, time slowed for the both of them. With each step a question arose. </p><p>One step: Would things have been different if Kageyama wasn’t so insecure?</p><p>Another step: Would things have been different if Kuroo didn’t run from the kiss? </p><p>A third step: Would their relationship have even worked out? </p><p>A fourth: Would they both have been happy if they did get together? </p><p>The fifth step gave the answer: They were all useless questions. They couldn’t go back anymore. This was their reality now. </p><p>The sixth step, and Kuroo had finally passed Kageyama. The only touch they both got was the passing of their shoulders. How painful.</p><p>Sucking in a quivering breath, Kageyama said, “Yes, Kuroo-san. See you later.” </p><p>And Kuroo continued walking, without looking back. </p><p>Kageyama sucked in one more breath, then went off in the other direction, not looking back either.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you can interpret if Kageyama is still in love with him or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯<br/>(also don't flame me, i tried my best with their emotions and everything while also trying to get them to stay in character (which i'm pretty sure i butchered ;-;))<br/>anyways, ngl this hurt me. ugh high school boys are so stoopid.<br/>(Also happy valentines day to all of you out there! You may see this after valentines, or maybe waaay after valentines, BUT I posted it on valentines so you're getting a valentine either way. Love you (ㅅ˙³˙)♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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